对于这种翻译讨论，我总是支持的。但如今这里对翻译讨论真正感兴趣的人是越来越少了，更别提这种专业性较强的文章了。所以，你前一篇译文贴出将近一年了，仍无人回应，也没多少人看。这一篇的命运估计也不会好很多。当然，像这种难译的文章，你能把它译出来，是很不容易的。总的说来，你译得还不错。下面，我简单谈一些看法。
绝大多数胶乳制品是通过高温硫化最终成型的，该过程中发生硫化反应的主要是硫化剂和硫化促进剂。其中仲胺基硫化促进剂在分解后会产生仲胺，并与大气中或配合剂中的氮氧化物在酸性条件下生成稳定的亚硝胺，生成的亚硝胺将DNA烷基化，有最终诱发致癌的可能性[2]。此外，亚硝胺的前体(亚硝酸盐、氮氧化物等)与某些添加剂在生产和储存过程中也可转变为亚硝胺。
Most products made from natural rubber latex experience curing at a high temperature. During the curing process, chemical reactions mainly take place to the vulcanizer and accelerator. The secondary amines that the secondary amine accelerator releases during its decomposition will react with nitrogen oxides present in the atmosphere or ligand under acidic conditions and form nitrosamine which is capable of alkylating DNA molecules and may induce carcinogenesis. Moreover, some additives and precursors of nitrosamine including nitrites and nitrogen oxides may change into nitrosamine during their production and storage.
虽然全文讲的是天然胶乳，但这一段对天然胶乳和合成胶乳都是适用的。因此，你在翻译第一句时，不宜添加natural一词 。Latex就是胶乳的意思，rubber一词也可以省略。原文中的“硫化反应”，应译为vulcanization，而不是笼统的”chemical reactions”。 配合剂译为 ligand也不妥。此处的配合剂应该是指compounding agents，也就是指下面的添加剂。 最后一句中，你在译文中把“亚硝胺的前体”与“某些添加剂”的次序颠倒了一下，从而改变了原意。“某些添加剂”是指整个配方的添加剂，而不是亚硝胺的“某些添加剂”。这一段是否改成这样：
Most of latex products are ultimately molded by curing at high temperatures. During the process, it is mainly the vulcanizer and vulcanization accelerator that take part in vulcanization. Among the vulcanization accelerators, the secondary amine accelerators will yield secondary amines upon decomposition, and the secondary amines will react with nitrogen oxides present in the atmosphere or in the compounding agents under acidic conditions and form stable nitrosamine which may alkylate DNA molecules and potentially induce carcinogenesis. Moreover, some precursors of nitrosamine, such as nitrites and nitrogen oxides, and some of the additives may also convert to nitrosamine during their production and storage.
试验结果表明：①适当增加氧化锌用量，可明显提高天然胶乳硫化胶膜的交联密度和撕裂强度；②适当增加硫化促进剂或硫磺的用量，不仅可以加快胶膜的硫化速度，同时也可以有效的增大硫化胶膜的交联密度，从而提高硫化胶膜的物理机械性能；③天然胶乳胶膜的硫化温度控制在100℃左右，具有较大的交联密度和较好的物理机械性能；④从天然胶乳胶膜的硫化速度和硫化胶膜的物理机械性能方面考虑，采用环保硫化促进剂ZBEC、ZDBC代替传统的硫化促进剂ZDC是可行的。
The results of the experiment showed that 1) the crosslinking density and tear strength of the natural rubber latex could be greatly enhanced by more zinc oxide; and 2) more accelerator and sulfur could speed up the curing and effectively increase the crosslinking density of the cured rubber films, hence improved mechanical properties of the films; and 3) keeping the curing temperature at 100 ℃ for the making of the films helped to achieve relatively good crosslinking density and mechanical properties; and 4) from a perspective of the curing rate and mechanical properties of the films, it was viable to replace conventional accelerators with ZBEC and ZDBC which were more environment-friendly.
原文中前两点结论的句型是一样的，所以你在译文中最好也采用同样的句型。此外，你把“增加氧化锌用量”译为“more zinc oxide”，不妥。同样，第二点中的"more accelerator and sulfur”也不妥。 原文中“不仅...，同时...”的意思，在译文中没有表达出来。翻译科技文章应尽量按照原文的结构，不宜译得太活。还有，原文是“适当增加硫化促进剂或硫磺的用量”，你把“或”字译为"and”，这也不妥。前两点结论是否改成这样：
The results of the experiment show that 1) properly increasing the amount of zinc oxide could significantly increase crosslinking density and tear strength of cured films of natural latex; 2) properly increasing the amount of accelerator or sulfur could not only accelerate the curing process, but also effectively increase the crosslinking density of the cured latex films, hence improving physical and mechanical properties of the films;
以上看法不一定对，仅供参考。最近我很忙，恕我只能简单谈几点看法，不能针对全文进行详细讨论。就算是抛砖引玉吧！
[Edited at 2011-05-24 19:41 GMT]
Login to reply/comment 
